From the desk of Gavin Grandish <grandish@unixg.ubc.ca>, converted to html by Vacek

These carols were passed out by my high school chemistry teacher back in my high school days.  I don't know where they really originated from (unless he actually wrote them himself.)  But they're great!  I took the time to type them out and send them out to all of you.  Enjoy!

1. The Chemistry Teacher's Coming to Town
2. I'm Dreaming of a White Precipitate
3. Silent Labs
4. Deck the Labs
5. The Twelve Days of Chemistry
6. Test Tubes Bubbling
7. We Wish You a Happy Halogen
8. Chemistry Wonderland
9. I Saw Teacher Kissing Santa Chlorine
10. O Come All Ye Gases
11. We Three Students of Chemistry Are
12. Iron the Red Atom Molecule
13. Lab Reports
14. Silver Nitrate

1.  The Chemistry Teacher's Coming to Town

You better not weigh
You better not heat
You better not react
I'm telling you now
The Chemistry Teacher's coming to town.
He's collecting data
He's checking it twice
He's gonna find out
The heat of melting ice
The Chemistry Teacher's coming to town.
He sees you when you're decanting
He knows when you titrate
He knows when you are safe or not
So wear goggles for goodness sake.
Oh, you better not filter
And drink your filtrate
You better not be careless and spill your precipitate.
The Chemistry Teacher's coming to town.

2.  I'm Dreaming of a White Precipitate

I'm dreaming of a white precipitate
just like the ones I used to make
Where the colors are vivid
and the chemist is livid
to see impurities in the snow.
I'm dreaming of a white precipitate
with every chemistry test I write
May your equations be balanced and right
and may all your reactions be bright.

3.  Silent Labs

Silent labs, difficult labs
All with math, all with graphs
Observations of colors and smells
Calculations and graph curves like bells
Memories of tests that have past
Oh--how long will chemistry last?

Silent labs, difficult labs
All with math, all with graphs
Lots of equations that need balancing
Gas pressure problems that make my head ring

Santa Chlorine's on his way
Oh--Please Santa bring me an 'A'.

4. Deck the Labs

Deck the labs with rubber tubing
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Use your funnel and your filter
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our goggles and aprons
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Before we go to our lab stations
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fill the beakers with solutions
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Mix solutions for reactions
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Watch we now for observations
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
So we can collect our data
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

5.  The Twelve Days of Chemistry

On the first day of chemistry
  My teacher gave to me
A candle from Chem Study.
(second day)   two asbestos pads
(third day)    three little beakers
(fourth day)   four work sheets
(fifth day)    five golden moles
(sixth day)    six flaming test tubes
(seventh day)  seven unknown samples
(eighth day)   eight homework problems
(ninth day)    nine grams of salt
(tenth day)    a ten page test
(eleventh day) eleven molecules
(twelfth day)  a twelve point quiz

6.  Test Tubes Bubbling 

(to the tune of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)

Test tubes bubbling in a water bath
   Strong smells nipping at your nose.
Tiny molecules with their atoms all aglow
   Will find it hard to be inert tonight.
They know that Chlorine's on its way
   He's loaded lots of little electrons on his sleigh
And every student's slide rule is on the sly
   To see if the teacher really can multiply.
And so I offer you this simple phrase
   To chemistry students in this room
Although it's been said many times, many ways
   Merry molecules to you.

7.  We Wish You a Happy Halogen

We wish you a happy halogen
We wish you a happy halogen
We wish you a happy halogen
To react with a metal.
Good acid we bring
  to you and your base.
We wish you a merry molecule
  and a happy halogen.

8.  Chemistry Wonderland

Gases explode, are you listenin'
  In your rest tube, silver glistens
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
  Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
Gone away, is the buoyancy
  Here to stay, is the density
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
  Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
In the beaker we will make lead carbonate
  and decide if what's left is nitrate
My partner asks "Do we measure it in moles or grams?"
  and I'll say, "Does it matter in the end?"
Later on, as we calculate
  the amount, of our nitrate
We'll face unafraid, the precipitates that we made
  walking in a chemistry wonderland.

9.  I Saw Teacher Kissing Santa Chlorine

I saw teacher kissing Santa Chlorine
  under the chemistree last night
They didn't sneak me down the periodic chart
  to take a peek
At all the atoms reacting in their beakers;
  it was neat.

And I saw teacher kissing Santa Chlorine
  under the chemistree so bright
Oh what a reaction there would have been
  if the principal had walked in
With teacher kissing Santa Chlorine last night.

10.  O Come all ye Gases

O Come all yea gases
  diatomic wonders
O come yea, o come yea
  calls Avogadro.
O come yea in moles
  6 x 10 to the 23rd
O molar mass and molecules
  O volume, pressure and temperature
O molar volume of gases at S.T.P.

11.  We Three Students of Chemistry Are

We three students of chemistry are
  taking tests that we think are hard
Stoichiometry, volumes and densities
  worrying all the time.

O room of wonder
  room of fright
Room of thermites
  blinding light:
With your energies
  please don't burn us
Help us get our labs all right.

12.  Iron the Red Atom Molecule

(to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

There was Cobalt and Argon and Carbon and Fluorine
  Silver and Boron and Neon and Bromine
But do you recall
  the most famous element of all?
Iron the red atom molecule
  had a very shiny orbital
And if you ever saw him
  You'd enjoy his magnetic glow

All of the other molecules
  used to laugh and call him Ferrum
They never let poor Iron
  join in any reaction games.
Then one inert Chemistry eve
  Santa came to say
Iron with your orbital so bright
  won't you catalyze the reaction tonight?

Then how the atoms reacted
  and combined in twos and threes
Iron the red atom molecule
  you'll go down in Chemistry!

13. Lab Reports

(to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the lab
  with a ten page lab report
Taking all those tests
  and laughing at them all
Bells for fire drills ring
  making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
  a chemistry song tonight.
Oh, lab report, lab reports,
  reacting all the way
Oh what fun it is to study
  for a chemistry test today, Hey!

Chemistry test, chemistry test
  isn't it a blast
Oh what fun it is to take
  a chemistry test and pass.

14.  Silver Nitrate

(to the tune of Silver Bells)

Silver nitrate, silver nitrate
  it's chemistry time in the lab
Ding-a-ling, with a copper ring
  soon it will be chemistry day.
Take your nitrate, in solution
  Add your copper with style

In the beaker there's a feeling of reactions
  silver forming, blue solution
Bringing ooh's ah's and wows
  now the data processing begins.
Get the mass, change to moles
  what is the ratio with copper?
Write an equation, balance it
  we're glad it's Chemistry Day.